Dude, I sign them because... okay, look at how creepy this is.

Dear Glossing,

I want to have your babies. Barring that possibility, I'd very much like it if you'd send me your brain when you're done with it. I wish to clone you, but if that turns out to be unviable, I'll settle for hooking up your brain to a machine that's hooked up to a word processor.

signed, A Friend

See, it's fine until you get to the end of it, where it's not signed. I mean, what's she supposed to think? Not that I'm saying that yours are creepy because they're not signed, but mine turn out all funny and weird without a signature.