gillo: (Editor SU Herald)
[personal profile] gillo posting in [community profile] su_herald
BUFFY: And the joke is... he loved me. I mean, in his own sick, soulless way, he really did care for me. But I-I didn't want to be loved.
HOLDEN: Didn't you?
BUFFY: I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. I sorta think? You know, this is, um, complicated. If you'd rather just fight...
HOLDEN: Tell me.
BUFFY: I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything 'cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. They're not the slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel - this is awful - I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.
HOLDEN: Until you can't win. And I thought I was diabolical - or, at least I plan to be. You do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it. (laughs) Kudos.

~~Conversations With Dead People ~~



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