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ANYA: How can I help?
WILLOW: Uh, distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off.
ANYA: I don't know how.
WILLOW: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.

~~BtVS 5x11 “Triangle”~~




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SPIKE: Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, eh?
GILES: Yes, thank you. Although your heroism has been slightly muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all.
XANDER: You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here.
SPIKE: Did it work? Well, then everything's all right. And we all get to be not staked through the heart. Good work, team.

~~BtVS 4x21 “Primeval”~~




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BUFFY: My sister's about to go to the same high school that tried to kill me for three years. I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare for what could possibly come out of there. So, peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.

~~BtVS 7x01 “Lessons”~~




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WILLOW: So, we're looking for a beastie.
GILES: That, uh, eats humans whole... except for the skin.
BUFFY: This doesn't make any sense.
XANDER: Yeah. The skin's the best part.
BUFFY: Any demons with high cholesterol?

~~BtVS 2x20 “Go Fish”~~




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CORDELIA: What does this do?
GILES: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.
CORDELIA: Wow! What does this one do?
GILES: Um, it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim's head with its incisors.
CORDELIA: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?
GILES: It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
CORDELIA: Boy, there's a demon for everything.

~~BtVS 2x18 “Killed by Death”~~




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WILLOW: I mean, he said he was gonna wait until I was ready, but I'm ready. Honest. I'm good to go here.
BUFFY: Well, I think it's nice that he's not just being an animal.
WILLOW: It is nice. He's great. We have a lot of fun. But I want smoochies!
BUFFY: Have you dropped any hints?
WILLOW: I've dropped anvils.
BUFFY: Ah, he'll come around. What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?
WILLOW: At last count, all of them. Maybe more.
BUFFY: Well, none of them know a thing. They all get an 'F' in Willow.
WILLOW: But I want Oz to get an 'A', and, oh, one of those gold stars.

~~BtVS 2x15 “Phases”~~




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BUFFY: I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. (she stands) You guys research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When I find it, I'm going to make him pay for taking that kid's life, I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine... that probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.

~~BtVS 4x14 “Goodbye Iowa”~~




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BUFFY: At least let the other people go.
CHANTARELLE: Why are you fighting this? It's what we want!
DIEGO: It's our chance for immortality.
CHANTARELLE: This is a beautiful day. Can't you see that?
BUFFY: What I see is that, right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.

~~BtVS 2x07 “Lie To Me”~~




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KENDRA: We can return to your Watcher for our orders.
BUFFY: I don't take orders. I do things my way.
KENDRA: No wonder you died.

~~BtVS 2x10 “What's My Line? Part 2”~~




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XANDER: Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I wanna walk in *your* shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I'm done now.
SNYDER: Where is she?
WILLOW: Who?
SNYDER: You know who.
WILLOW: You mean Buffy? I just saw her...
SNYDER: And don't feed me that 'I just saw her a minute ago, she's around here somewhere' story.
WILLOW: But I did... just see her a minute ago, and she is... *around* here somewhere!

~~BtVS 2x09 “What's My Line? Part I”~~




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